Archie Comics.

Superheroes dominate the comic book inustry. Even now as it is considered a dying industry superheroes are still the Top Players. But let's rewind the clock back a few decades. Superhero Comics are struggling and much to the superhero fans dismay, a series focussing on a good natured red headed teenager named Archie Andrews was dominating sales.

I'll tell you right now, this series has nothing for me. I pick up a comic hoping for action. Okay that's putting it pretty broad, I actually do care about other stuff such as good artwork, interesting stories and likeable characters, I just really like the action aspect of it surrounding the heroes. Take for example the film version of Hellboy, specifically the second one. Ron Perlman slips into the role like a glove, as does most of the other actors, and while most of the action is great, I can honestly say I get as much entertainment from them talking. Archie Comics have stepped into the realm of superheroes, but this dosn't usually work out very well and it usually vanishes again for a while.

Now Archie Comics is actually kind of strange. Marvel and DC have a universe of characters who have the entire world to run around in, punching each other. In Archie, we have about eight main characters in one small town. Hurray simplicity?

But just for the heck of it, I decided I'd pick up an issue for this month's trip to the Comic Store. Specifically, an issue of Jughead comics, which brings me to an odd point. I know Archie isn't affected too much by continuity, since the whole thing has been going on for just under seventy freaking years, but there are so many publications I don't really know what's happening. There's Archie Comics, Betty and Veronica, Archie Digest, Betty's Diary, Betty, good god it never ends. If I actually wanted to follow any of the storylines, which one do I pick up?

The comic was split up into about three stories, all focusing on Jughead. The first one deals with a group of girls getting sick of Jughead's slacker attitude, and employing a school trickster to reverse this with psychology (which creepily enough, actually made a lot of sense). The second dealt with Archie trying to prove to Archie that Veronica thinks he's a loser, with HIGH-larity ensuing. Finally the issue finished with a story about a girl who caused an ice age in Riverdale because Jughead refuses to kiss her. HIGH-larious.

What surprised me was how much I enjoyed them. It didn't take much to for me to realise why though. In superhero books, someone is always in danger, there's always something bad that could happen, and in today's books issues tend to connect with each other. A lighthearted single issue was a refreshing breath of fresh air.

This also shows a good point about storytelling. Many good series, not limited to comics, have ended because they had 'run out' of stories and the current ones were lackluser. Take for example, Spongebob Squarepants, and before you say anything, no I don't regularly watch it, and yes I do still think it's funny. I saw a grown man laughing his ass off at it not too recently for crying out loud. But while old episodes featured stories such as Spongebob struggling with his already established addiction to karate, or his bosses Arch Nemesis trying to steal the secret recipe to their burgers. Newer episodes have featured storylines like...Plankton forgets how to blink...I am dead serious here.
But Archie Comics have been going for decades, and are still pretty good.

But I have a few questions. Question number one, does Jughead have eyes?
I know this is one frame, but his face is like this one EVERY PANEL!

Also, what voice do you imagine him with? I like to give the characters voices in my head so the story sticks better, for example Archie sounds like a toned down Robin from Teen Titans. With Jughead I tried a few different ones but...I just kept coming back to Linkara's Superboy Prime. I don't want to give him that voice because he isn't whiny or annoying, but it just fits, but it also makes me see the character as atupider than he really is.

But nonetheless, Archie Comics are okay in my opinion, and deserve the place their in now. Oh I can imagine an Archie movie coming out soon. Good god, I bet you anything they'd screw it up.

And YES, that Archie meets Punisher comic is real, and by what I've heard, much to the surprise of everyone, it's apparently pretty good.

Iron Man 2.

I have not seen this movie. I really want, and have a feeling that it will be epic no matter what happens. Unfortunatley I have heard that it fails compared to it's awesome predacessor. I find this annoying because I have counted Iron Man 1 as the proper way to make a superhero movie.

From the ads, I could tell something was a bit off. It seemed off somehow. Then it hit me. I don't care. Like I said, this film is going to be awesome, and hell I only heard this from Wikipedia, and from it's Kick-Ass page, I can tell that they might be lying (they said Kick-Ass recieved positive reviews, but only mentioned bad ones). Robert Downey Jr. is gonna be great, and Samuel L. Jackson is gonna be great. This film will own. I will still be annoyed that it was less well recieved, but I won't know until I see it. I just wish I could look at movies as entertainment and not note every damn aspect of them. I had more fun before I became like that :(

GO IRON MAN!

Villain Spotlight: Lord Doviculus.

One might suspect a case of Luke I am your Father with this fellow and half demon Brutal Legend protagonist Eddie Riggs, but alas, it's more of a case of, 'I thought your Mum was Hot.' Nevertheless, Doviculus still has a strong connection to the warrior/roadie.

Clad in SNM and wielding a massive pointed stick, Doviculus rules the vile and controlling Tainted Coil and controls virtually all of that most awesomley rocking world. While he is more likley to send down his minions to do his dirt work, occasionally he'll step down and do things himself, which spectacularly brutal results. The first indication that he's a great villain? As the heroic band/army of Ironheade celebrate their victory against General Lyonwhite, Doviculus arrives with none of his minions, intimidates everyone by talking, murders their leader, and with a bored snap of his fingers summons a massive army of murderous Eldritch beasts to rip the area to shreds. His speech also inturn creates another overlord, Drowned Opehelia, who not only creates horrific turmoil for the heroes, but robs them of a powerful ally. Oh, and conquers a lot of the world. With zombies.

Also, did I mention that he carries a six necked guitar in his chest? No? Slipped my mind.

Doviculus was voiced by none other than Tim Curry AKA the only guy who could pull this off with this level of awesome.

Good Things about Adequate Stuff.

Yes, I know I haven't really done this segment enough to start twisting it around, but meh.

After X-Men was released, Spider-Man proved to be about as much of a success, if not more. Then of course came Hulk. While I think the psychological take on the character was a good idea, I don't think that's what people wanted out of a film based on a creature who spends half his time crushing cities with his bare hands. That and Hulk looked a bit like Shrek. Daredevil was also pretty lackluster. The fighting was good, and I liked the was Kingpin and Bullseye were done, and the blind joke at the beginning was kinda funny, but on a whole, it wasn't very good. Then came Fantastic Four. Out of all these superhero films, this one was the one destined to succeed!

It didn't.

The film suffered from poorly done science, bland or even bad acting, a medium lack of action, and seemed a bit rushed in the storyline department. It wasn't a massive bomb, but people were still a little bit irritated. If you ask me, the sequel, Rise of the Silver Surfer, was worse, not because of sheer badness, but because it was just too slow, lacked a lot of action and suffered from a number of similar problems.

But hey, like I said, the film wasn't THAT bad, so I'm going to tell you my personal points as to why.

1. Michael Chicklis as Ben Grimm/The Thing.
Ioan Gruffudd was kinda bland in his portrayel of Mr. Fantastic, but I can't really say I could've done any better, or even that I would know where to begin. But then we get my second favorite of the FF, The Thing, portrayed by Michael Chicklis. He was great. It was easy to like the character with or without the mutations. Even though he gets all rocky less than twenty or so minutes into the film, you've already known him long enough to sympathise once his fiance runs away from him in fear. It's also a good sign for him when Stan Lee named him as his favorite actor to portray one of his creations, Suck it, Maguire!

2. Dr. Doom.
To start off, Julian did not do a good job as Doom. He didn't do a god awful job, but he didn't do a good one either. He still seems Affably Evil, but that voice is just so non threatening that it's insane! Also he dosn't exactly have much in common with his comic book counterpart. But here's the good thing about that, he LOOKS awesome. There is no other way to portray Doom on screen other than this look, he looks like he just stepped out of the comic and is ready to pwn the world. He also has that nifty new electrical ability. Now I know you're probably saying, "Giving Doctor Doom powers is a disgrace to the comics!" Well how else were they going to make him a good villain for a film like this? Is he supposed to just pull out a hi-tech machine gun? He's be defeated in minutes. The only way to make him a decent adversary for the FF was to give him a proper super power. Just be glad they didn't do something really stupid like turn him into an evil Superman clone. And to fix his character in any rereleases of the film (Cos you know, the future might not realise it was bad) all they need to do his give him an electrinuc sound effect over his voice and he'll actually seem menacing. It's a shame that he could've been pretty much removed from Rise of the Silver Surfer all togethor. I know he was important plot wise, but I don't care, take him out and it's the same film. He was really just an excuse for a fight scene.

3. Victor's Romantic Gesture.
You've gotta admit, 'giving' someone the entire world beneath their feet is both romantic and Epic. That makes it Epicly Romantic. I actually feel a little annoyed that it all went sour from there.

4. It's Clobbering Time.
Yes it's small, but any fan of the FF must have squeled with delight the moment Chicklis let loose with that phrase. It does a good job of reinforcing my earlier stated opinion on his performance, as it dosn't even seem forced (well it mightm but with that gruff Thing voice, it's hard to tell). I'm not sure how him seeing the action figure that says the catchphrase before dimished the awesome or just prepared us for it.

5. Half of anything the Thing does.
This should be really, 'How Thing made the F4 Movie work.' The Thing is definatley my favorite character in the team, especially in this incarnation. To prove a point, he crushed Johnny's car into a ball. While angry, he smashes an action figure of himself, and manages to make saying 'Don't do drugs' really unsettling. That, and he probably gets the most action in the movie.

6. Jessica Alba's Performance wasn't that Bad.
I've heard a chief complaint about the film was Alba's horrid performance. I really don't think it was that bad. It wasn't very good in a few parts and it seemed forced at times, but on a whole I don't think it was worthy of a Razzy. This isn't so much a GOOD thing as something I disagree with.

Now that's six reasons why the film dosn't suck to the high heavens. Next time, I think I'll return to the usual way of this segment and tell you my opinions of Spider-Man.

REJECTED!

A while ago I was really into The Sims 2. I still like it, but don't play it every day any more. I want to play the Sims 3, but my computer sucks so I don't want to 'overload it' with too many games. The site allows you to create comics using pics from the game, so I made a series entitled 'Professor When' (get you can't guess where I got the idea from). I'll admit the series was a bit lackluster, but it was good enough to get the attention of one Ms. RayRay Shippe, whom I have now been good friends with for about two years *Whoo!* In fact, here's a Sim I made of her.

This is poorly done mind you. If you'd like to check out her escapades on Second Life, check out her Flickr page http://www.flickr.com/photos/24167956@N07/ iz good.

But we're not hear to talk about her. I'm hear to talk about Admiral Psycho. This lametastic villain was originally envisioned as one of Mental's arch enemies, having the same abilities, but lacking the insanity, making him inferior. This would eventually drive him to insanity, but the animalistic psycho insanity, as opposed to the cloud cuckoolander/crazy awesome insane Mental is.

For a while, I drew him randomly and eventually even tried to give him a permenant appearance. In the drawing case, he wore a backwards cao combined with a mask. As you can tell, this wasn't very good. In my original write up of the series, Psycho fought Mental in a mall, then vanished. Then he worked for Burn, a corrupt corporate tycoon with massive burn injuries, who is now not only a woman, but also not evil. So really, Psycho was a pretty big waste of a villain. Mental didn't need an equal, especially when most of his enemies are stronger than him anyway. So basically, Admiral Psycho is REJECTED!

You may be wondering why I talked about Ray at the start. Well that that picture of Psycho came from a Sims 2 series I made with Mental (which was bad, but much better than the original series write up, ironically) and I felt like giving her a shout out. She's awesome.

The Eleventh Hour.

Doctor Who is probably my favorite show. I could tell you a number of cartoons which I enjoy, but Doctor is probably my favorite show. I love how it manages to fit in special effects scenes with genuinley interesting characters. Heck, even the effects for the original series are creative.

The latest Doctor, David Tennant, cemented himself as a figure of Doctor Who history by being hilarious, yet at the same time quite serious. He was probably the best Doctor since Tom Baker, but didn't let it go to his head. So, naturally people were a bit upset when it was announced that he'd finally be handing the torch over. While I didn't cry at his death scene, I might as well have. And yesturday, the Doctor returned to our screens as Matt Smith. So, how does it fare up? Ahem...

OH MY GOD IT WAS AWESOME! The Doctor was hilarious, the story was cool, the plan to save the world brilliant, the effects great, and oh my godness!

Okay, actually I have a few complaints I suppose. The Doctor seemed a bit too much like Tennant, but he was still funny in his own right (Beans are evil!) The bad guy, known as Prisoner 0, while scary looking, didn't do much. He snarled, he threatened, but really all he did was stand there, to the point that the Doctors Big Damn Heroes moment is slow enough to laugh at. It was like, 'I HAVE LARGE BIEY TEETH AND AM QUITE DISTURBING! NOW LOOK AT ME! But I guess he wasn't the overall threat. The overall threat was a giant eyeball attached to a spaceship. It didn't do much either, but it's very being there was cool.

I had heard that there would be a totally new set of theme music made for the series, being a fan of the music, I was angry. I was delighted to find that the new mmusic was just yet another cover of the original, and sounded great. The new opening sequence was okay, but I preferred the original.
I was surprisingly not put off by the new Sonic Screwdriver and TARDIS Interior. In fact, the most annoying thing about that was that the new screwdriver is green now. I suppose watching Doctor Who has wired me to expect change.

Long story short, I look forward to the rest of the season. It'll be great.







Custard Fish.

Mental Covers: Ultra-Heidi. Also, the history of Heidi.

Dating a crime fighter can really strain tour relationship, so what better way to make yourself a bigger part of your partners life than becoming their teammate with the use of a super suit?
I dunno, but just make sure you find a super suit that isn't EVIL!

This is Heidi's first appearance on the blog I think. Originally my ideas for Mental had him usually by himself, but I eventually added in Heidi as a love interest, and now the concept might as well be Mental and Heidi. She has quite a history actually. Originally me and random_fan planned on creating a TV show entitled, 'Hyper-Force' which starred usm, two friends (and his brother) as a monster fighting team in the city of Parasail. It was horrible. I think that it could be retooled into a good show, but what we had planned just wasn't very good. Especially since I was the only one getting development, and even then it wasn't GOOD development. One characteristic is that my character had an animated girlfriend who most people thought was imaginary until her first appearance. Originally this was going to be and aged version of Alice from Alice in Wonderland (Disney) but soon I realised how stupid that was and how they'd never let us do that. So, I replaced her with Heidi, who was also animated and was inspired by some fanart of Yumi from Code Lyoko.

A personal thing I've developed is to try and balance things out. If I write a short film or something that features me being awesome or doing something that will obviously be fun, I try to even it out by doing something negative. For example, in my idea for the short film The Sick Room, I play a psychotic homicidal ghost who performs kick-ass villain songs. He also is a nurse who wears a dress throughout the whole thing.
Here, though Heidi is pretty attractive and nice, she also has a huge eating disorder which makes her eat a lot. This is also a role flip for gluttonous male characters like Homer Simpson or Peter Griffin.

Anyway, I eventually thought that Heidi could be the default love interest for any character based upon myself. This hasn't come up that much, since that included Mental and really I've been focussing on him for a while.

I have another jab at the hungry man characters named Mia, whose an ogress and is thus fat, unlike Heidi who has a high metabolism. Surprisingly, I thought of them on completley seperate occasions and for different reasons. I put them in the same universe due to their similarities, obviously they'd make good friends, right? I'll give her history another time.

Epic Mickey

Ah Disney.

The beatiful and majestic world of Disney has had it's share of spooks, such as Monstro from Pinnochio, Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty and Chernabog from Fantasia. And Kingdom Hearts has showed us a more kickass side to it, turning their mouse mascot into a kickass king.

And with films such as Pirates of the Caribbean, you can bet we've come to see them as more than just kids stuff. And I'll tell you, when I heard about Epic Mickey, it sounded cool. A spooky version of Disney's classics with high themes of Steampunk sounds awesome. I mean, seriously, I'd love to see a pair of Disney steampunk robots duke it out. It sounds awesome...then I saw the concept art...Oh god did I see the concept art.




As you can see...this his f*cking demonic. No, scratch that, it's f*cking Eldritch! It should not be. Oh god, did you see that...thing? It had Goofy's head, and Jafar's face on it's chest...oh good god. I like Steampunk and I think Post Apocolyptic stories can work, but this? What have they done? This is psychotic. This isn't some literary classic where you can havce it like this...

Then twist it into this...


That's fine, you can do that with classic works of that kind. Why? Because it is actually intended to be mystical and eerie, in a way that can be enjoyed by everyone, and thus can be twisted into something strange. This sort of thing thing that we are seeing here today would more likley be subject to pardoy! But an official piece of Disney? You cannot be serious!

Warren Spector, the man behind the project, had this to say.
Warren Spector: "I really want to scare kids. I want to go to Disneyland and see a 10 year old kid crying: "Oh mommy, the clock tower's going to come to life and eat me!" That's my fondest dream. Disney scared the pants off me when I was a little kid. Disney needs to scare kids!"

...That is not okay. Disney has a history of Nightmare Fuel and it's not really that bad that someone would integrate something scary into this sort of thing, but not only is the entire game this way, but let me tell you now, there is a big f*cking difference between scary kids, and ruining childhoods. You think this won't affect any kid who watches Mickey Mouse cartoons? This will destroy them! Oh good god will it destroy them. Warren Spector, you are creative and I'm sure you are a nice guy, but somewhere inside you is a shred of evil sent from the bowels of hell with intent to destroy the souls of children everywhere and make them fresh crop for the apocolypse!

Okay, maybe that's a bit much, but seriously, this stuff isn't right. Mickey Mouse isn't supposed to be horrifying. The project is supposed to make him somewhat more mischevious, as he was in the old days, but must you bring in these Eldritch Abominations in to do so?

Having said all that, I'll probably play the game at my friend Blake's, as I have no Wii Console of my own, when it comes out, it does look interesting. I just...look at them! They should not be! They look more like freakish the sort of freakish fanart I usually try to avoid because it's freakish and weird. And your actually going to sell it to kids? Damn.

Villain Spotlight: Mephisto.

What? Oh, you wanted the Mephisto that does the bidding of Quesada? Sorry, this is Mephisto from the AFI Award Winning Australian TV Series, Double the Fist.

While not actually portrayed as a Villain, Mephisto is a murder, a thief, a brief megalomaniac and helped his friend take over the world, so he qaulifies.

Mephisto, AKA James Wenham was originally a security guard, but got fired. Later, while Steve Foxx was setting up a TV show entitled Double the Fist, he recieved many audition tapes. All of them were weak. Except one. It was of Mr. Wenham eating a glass bottle. This was fistworthy enough to grant him a starring spot on his show.

Mephisto is paranoid, psychotic and almost one step ahead of everyone else...almost. His plan to survive a fall off a cliff? Build a pair of wings and propell yourself through the air with a grenade. Win a game of golf combined with being hunted? Putt the ball into a bush and go Rambo on his attacker. The fact of the matter is that Mephisto is not one to be trifled with. You may think you can take that skinny, balding middle aged fellow in the picture, but if you like your face arranged as is, keep away.

Season Two of the show saw him eventually command an army of Medieval Recreationists (and a few Stormtroopers), survive a battle with a Plesiosaur, and manipulate Vampires. Characters like Mephisto justify the ecistance of Double the Fist and prove that Series 3 should be put into production.

Mephisto was portrayed hilariously by Doug Bayne.

Kick-Ass

Wow, yet another review. I remember when I started this intending to do reviews and occasionally segments like Villain Spotlight.

Okay, Robert, do not read this. It will ruin the film, do NOT read it if you do not want spoilers. Okay, I'm not going to go through the whole plot, but what I have to say will spoil it for you.

Let me start out by saying that a film title has never been so appropriatly titled. Well except maybe..


The film follows Dave, a teenager who is cmpletley unextraordinary. Except for his super narrating powers that is. He dares to wonder why nobody has ever tried to be a superhero in real life. He buys a suit off the internet and proceeds to start training, eventually coming into contact with vigilates Hit-Girl, Big Daddy and Red Mist, who undoubtedly put him to shame.

Though he already has his trusty batons (they came with the suit) Dave (calling himself Kick-Ass) soon developes a (very) low resistance to pain and injury due to reconstructive surgery after his first botched attempt at saving the day. He also gets a pretty inneffective tazer from somewhere.

This film is like, DAMN! Like I said, the title dosn't lie to you, this film is 100% kickass! Every superhero in the film is awesome. Kick-Ass is awesome because he holds his own in the whole thing, Big Daddy is like what Tim Burton's Batman coul've been but (thankfully) didn't, Hit-Girl is probably one of the biggest badasses in film history (quite an accomplishment, as she is only 11), and Red-Mist...I guess he's pretty funny, and has a cool car. Each superhero gets at least one crowning moment of Awesome each (Kick-Ass and Hit-Girl in particuler).

Okay, I guess I had better get into some of the bad things about the film. Yes, believe it or not, there are bad things about this film. To start off with is one that is only for me, and that I personally don'y understand myself. Kick-Ass is based on a comic that came out in 08' and has already become a film. So, I ask you how we get this when characters like Wonder Woman and Captain America have been around for years, and Cap's only cinematic contributions have been less than...bad. So, this naturally irritated me. However, I soon came to see that the film looked pretty good, and I really didn't care that much in the end. But still, there's a little voice in my head telling me that I hate this movie. I ignore it, but it's still there.

Next is Hit-Girl and Big Daddy, their storyline takes over the final act top the pont where Kick-Ass seems like a side character. He still plays a big part, but he still seems like they just needed him there. By what I've read they didn't change the ending except for making it more elaborate, and his love story goes better for him, but it still seems that way. Fortunatley, this part was made up of several CMoA's so I can't say I was dissapointed. Also, Kick-Ass gets a device that feels very out of place in the movie, and realistic at the same time, so I don't know what to make of that.

Next, did they really have to kill THAT many people? Kick-Ass never took a pledge to not kill people, but at the end where he kills about four guys, it seems pretty out of place. And then there's Hit-Girl and Big Daddy. Some of their actions are downright villainous, such as burning down a lumber yard, which Kick-Ass and Red Mist get caught in. Admittedly it was full of dead bad guys, but still, nobody comments on it? Big Daddy himself is pretty brutal. This wouldn't be so bad, except that I actually felt sorry for the criminals running away from him. Then Hit-Girl at the end goes to a building and kills almost EVERYONE! Now, I know this was the bad guy's hideout, but at least one of those guys had to be innocent. The bellhop may have very well been a henchman who was obsessed with getting a gun, but he shows genuine kindness to what he thinks is a lost little girl, and gets shot in the head for it.

This isn't really a bad thing, but it was pretty hard to watch Kick-Ass confront people who were obviously going to crush him. Especially when they did crush him. But the second time he tries it, he gets a CMoA and I guess a bit of a CMoH. Good on you, Kick-Ass.

Now, this is actually a question, but is the series ongoing or a mini-series? Wikipedia lists it as an ongoing, but hasn't updated the story beyond that of the movie. I know Wikipedia isn't that reliable, but I still don't know what the deal is. Also since the writers talk about the next book. What? Do you mean Issue? Next year of issues? What?

Also, it dosn't really come up very much in the actual movie, so...did we really, really, REALLY have to know how much he...does things to himself? It just seemed weird.

Anywhoo, Kick-Ass definatley delivers what it promises, which is why so many critics are stupid for telling us that this MA movie isn't suitable for kids, and is thus bad! You are critics, you study movies as your job. You should know that a film named Kick-Ass is not intended for children. The word Ass is in the name! How can you make a mistake like that? StupidstupidSTUPIDcritics!

WTF Posters: Joker

Really just another poster I made at random a while ago. Can't say it's my best work, which wouldn't make too much of a difference anyway really. Enjoy nonetheless.

Clash of the Titans.

Review Time!

I am a fan of Ray Harryhausen. While I do not activley seek his movies, I acknowledge that he is a revolutionary genius and has given us some undeniably iconic moments of cinema, ranging from the Skeleton men from Jason and the Argonauts, to the collapsing Washington Monument from Earth vs. The Flying Saucers.

His final professional work was the classic film Clash of the Titans. The acting maybe wasn't the best, and it was pretty campy, but on a whole, it was an awesome film. A big part of it's fame was the iconic moment where Zeus ordered the gods to Release the Kraken! and the battle between Perseus and Medusa, filmed with Stop Motion (Virtually Harryhausen's only special effect method) with flickering fire in the background, something even today's films have difficulty with.
So naturally, when it was announced that the film would be remade as a Hollywood blockbuster...People were enraged. The film would definatley work, but do you really think you need to update a classic? I know it's not one of the 'Classic Classics' and heck, I liked 05' King Kong, but that was pretty damn close to the original (sorta), and was really good. Anyway, I was one of the people who thought that the film would be okay, so me and my friend Robert (random_fan) went and saw it in 3D.

Oh boy.

To start off with, I groaned before the story even started. They felt that a prologue was required. Prologues can help, and they're not always bad. Lord of the Rings worked pretty well, and god knows that Star Wars owes at least a bit of it's popularity to the awesomeness that is the space crawl. And I will admit, here it wasn't overdone, we saw constellations representing the gods as opposed to the real thing. Ironically, this is much cooler than how they actually appeared in the film.

Perseus is the son of Zeus, birthed through the wife of a king who dared challenge his rule, and later adopted by a fishing family. Despite assuring us that he has never needed to wield a weapon, and has been raised as a fisherman, Perseus is ripped beyond all hell, and can wield a sword like a grade A badass. They say it's because he has Zeus's blood in his veins, but nobody points it out other than that.

Plot holes abound, with Adaption decay for good measure. They think that instead of giving the gods a mysterious presence, we want to see them in all their lame ass glory. Yes, they are big and have shiny armour, Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief had them seem more epic than that. And you've gotta love how the humans think that they stand even a chance against the gods, just because they need their prayers to remain immortal. Yeah, piss off the gods who...what am I saying, why would you even try to piss off a GOD? It's not even portrayed in the sort of Did you just Punch Out Cthulhu sense, they just think the gods are weak. These people get whole armies killed trying to just insult the gods, and consider it a victory, I'll admit it's lampshaded, but just think about this.
They are trying to fight the gods, to actually dethrown them, claiming that the gods need their prayers to survive and they don't need anything from the gods. Wait, aren't you pissed off BECAUSE you need crops and animals from them and they aren't giving you any? YOU FAIL!
Talking about the gods, they barley leave an impression. I never thought that I'd prefer Jim Wood's Hades in a serious Fantasy flick.

And Zeus, one minut he's saying how the world has betrayed them and that they do not deserve life, next minute he's going on about how they need the humans love more than anything. Not prayer, love, always love. What? Do you want a hug, Zeus? Almost every time you see him it's, love this, love that. Do you know what image you put into my head with all this talk about Love?


And the editing is weird. Perseus bursts out of a giant scorpion, I didn't even see him get eaten! And don't get me started on the 3D. I know the film was converted into 3D afterwards, but the still frame adverts reminding us to put the glasses on looking more like they were coming at me than the goddamn monsters! Oh, and did I mention Andromeda barley does anything aside from give one rousing speech, talk to Perseus and her scenes where they're fretting about the Kraken before her rescue. The classic actually set her up as a character!

This film has barley anything to stand on. If you're going to remake a classic, you need more than one positive! I guess you want to know what that positive is, rigth? Okay then. The film is f*cking awesome.

I can't honestly say the film is great (I just spent half an hour talking about it sucking), but halfway through, it suddenly becomes awesome! Calibos (who I think is the King whose wife had Perseus) is fricking kick ass. Perseus gets points for punching him in the face, but Calibos can take out the whole gang! And then, cutting his hand off only summons giant scorpions! The heroes have some serious balls for even trying to fight the thing, letalone winning. I even felt sad when it died, cos I wouldn't get to see it kick ass any more. Then there's the scene at the River Styx. "The ferryman only ferries the dead" says one man, "Any volunteers?" says another, brandishing his sword. That's equal to one of the few good moments of Percy Jackson ("Only the dead may enter here. Go die, and come back.").

Then there's Medusa. While not really comparable to the classic version, she's definatley cooler than what we saw in Percy Jackson, played by Uma Thurman. Did anyone bother to tell her that her perfromance as Poison Ivy was bad? Cos, looking at that, I think they forgot.

With actors, I have to say that...Wait, is that Liam Neeson as Zeus?

Holy crap it is! Liam Neeson is Zeus...I can't say it's completley unexpected. I'm still going by what I said. He looks cool in that picture, but in the film it just seems campy. But come on! It's Liam Neeson!
The film even manages to make something easily considered girly like Pegasus awesome. All you need to do is change his color.

And can anyone say, 'Giant Scorpion Mounts?'

But all of that fails in comparison to the Kraken (or as Hades says, Krarken). It is epic. Oh god it is epic. An awesome leviathon of a beast which genuinley gives you the feeling of a giant goddamn monster! This thing is epic! And even it's defeat (turned to stone) is done cool.

You may also remember Bubo, the talking clockwork Owl from the original, which has been called a rip off of R2-D2 (actually a coincedence). At one point, someone pulls out the robot from a chest and asks about it, another person tells him to forget about it and put it back. I loled.

So, I guess if you like awesomness, definatley check out Clash of the Titans. It dosn't really compare to the original, but it's definatley awesome. I'll admit to having accentuated the negative a fair bit, but trust when I tell you that this film spews awesome from it's eye sockets. Just expect some wallbanging.

Villain Spotlight: Lou

Since Legends of Rock, Lou (Lucifer) has plagued the Guitar Hero franchise. His original plan?: Have your band sign off their soul to him. It can honestly be said that it was an interesting twist. Might have been advertised, but I don't know, so meh. Though, he hasn't really done all that much since then. In World Tour, he did manipulate all the events without consequence to my knowledge, and then showed up again in Metallica to spread his mayhem once more...and was subsequently hit by the Metallica Jr. van.

In any case, the climatic Guitar Battle against Lou is a Crowning Moment of Awesome for the games, presenting us with my favorite cover of one of my favorite songs (The Devil went Down to Georgia).

Incidentally, I was once accused of not knowing good music if it hit me in the face because I said I like the metal cover. I did mention that it was inferior to the original, but it's the internet, so what do you expect?

TV Tropes Sugar Wiki.

I visit TV Tropes a lot. My favorite page would probably be Crowning Moment of Awesome. But it has three counterparts: Crowning Moment of Heartwarming, Crowning Moment of Funny, and Dethrowning Moment of Suck. DMoS is the polar opposite, being moments that are terrible, and that you wish you could forget. DMoF is stuff that makes you LOL. CMoH is a different story altogethor. It's stuff that makes your heart fill with the warmth of humanity. It can still be funny at times, but for the most part I personally feel my eyes swell with Manly Tears (technical term). You may find it here: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/SugarWiki/SweetExists?from=Main.SugarWiki

Even in the Comic Book section you can get your share of Manly Tears, even if they don't make sense, like Dr. Doom helping out after 9/11. It dosn't make sense, and to that fact I say, Screw Sense, MANLY TEARS! My two favorites so far are the tale of The Boy Who Collected Spider-Man and the belief that the Marvel Adventures universe is where Marvel Heroes go when they die. To cut it short, if you are upset, or even just a little irritated, read this and you will hopefully feel better. I certainly did.