Freddy vs. Jason

What's the coolest thing you can think of? Probably the Adventures of Dr. McNinja, cos that's basically 'Crazy Awesome: The Comic,' but what's one thing you know that you're gonna have to see? How about, your favorite character fighting your OTHER favorite character? Yes, I'd pay for that. And hundreds of thousands of people have, particulerly in the world of comics where anything mainstream is likley to have a crosover every second issue. But what is probably better is the odd crossover film. Chances are it will be between two similar characters. For example, Alien vs. Predator, King Kong vs, Godzilla, heck Godzilla's could have a whole series of films based on the ones where he fought monsters originating in other movies.

The main problem with making a crossover is that mainly its just massive non-sexual (mostly) fanservice, and people tend to forget that they're still making a movie and should try to make it good. The most shining example of this failing that I can imagine is Alien vs. Predator Requiem. I liked Alien vs. Predator, but the sequel basically rode on using the PredAlien, and threw togethor some mindless carnage and shot like five minutes of footage that was supposed to resemble a plot. Plus they crossed both the child killing taboo, and the pregnant woman killing taboo. Basically I guess what I'm saying is, Alien vs. Predator Requiem, YOU SUCK! But that's another story altogethor.

However, there is one fight that people had been waiting for a while. I of course speak of, Freddy vs. Jason.


I'm a Freddy man myself, mainly because I just tend to find his concept more scary than Jason. Jason is your essential slasher villain, he'll chase you up the stairs and pick off your friends, and basically make you want to get as far away as possible so that you can rest. Freddy gets you WHEN your resting, and thus dosn't need to chase you up the stairs.

After his defeat in Freddy's Dead (which I haven't seen) Freddy is in hell and cannot enter the Dream World because his home town Springwood has gone to great lengths to make everyone forget about him. Without any memory of him, they can't fear him, and without fear he is powerless. So, he finds someone who will make them remember, a fellow supernatural killer named Jason Voorhees. Proving tha Jason is just a big ol' mummas boy, he diguises himself as Pamela Voorhees and aks him to go to Elm Street and start spreading some carnage so that they think Freddy's back, and he does.

Lori Campbell is the newest resident of Krueger's old house, meaning that Jason's first stop is there (seriously, if they're willing to ignore their childrens pleas for help to forget Freddy, why don't they knock down the damn house?). After picks off some of her acquaintences and starts haunting her and her friends dreams, she realises she's in danger and needs help. However, things are worse than they seem. Once Freddy's back, he's not too happy to find out that Jason's still going. But he just crosses the line when he takes Freddy's first kill away from him.

The first thing I want to talk about in this film is that it starts with a prologue. Whenever a film starts with an epic prologue, chances are things are going to go downhill from there. The best aversions of this would be Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. Fortunatley it's not over the top with CGI and is pretty well narrated by Freddy.

Second of all, it DOSN'T suck! Oh my god that is awesome! Okay, I have actually seen the film some years ago, but only rewatched it recently. The film isn't anything special, but it is pretty good, all things considered.

One problem with the film is that it feels more like an Elm Street film more than a Friday film. But then I thought to myself, how could it feel any more like a Friday film? Freddy pretty much has his own mythos, there's plans to keep him down, there;s drugs to repress him, he has numerous enemies (most of them dead) he has a fairly interesting origin, has his abilities, his boiler room, and the house. Jason has his weapons, his abilities, his mother, Camp Crystal Lake, that eerie chi chi chi chi sound and well, the series is just too inconsistant to inclue stuff like his cyborg upgrades in Jason X. I guess the only way to make him seem less like a Guest Star would be to have a guy whose familiar with him as a main character. I guess the film sort of balances this would pretty well by having him pummel Freddy pretty brutally a few times.

Now with the story away from the killers, I am genuinley shocked to find that I remember the characters and actually felt bad when they died. I know, I know, shocking right? They're a little flat in a few respects, but you'll remember who they are (even if you don't catch their name the first time around). I paticulerly like Gibb, Lori's alchoholic friend (Yes, Gibb i the name of a girl) even if it's just cps she looks cool in that cap she's never seen without. The mal characters are much more boring, though I've got to give the dorky one points for trying to attack Jason to defend the others. Good job.

One other thing I noticed is that Freddy dosn't really get to go all out with his usual set of horrific deaths (though we get reminded of them in the prologue). This guy can walk you around the roon like a puppet with your veins, and in this film he pretty much sticks with slashing. He does get to do some creepy stuff like turning into a giant Bong smoking maggot and forcing himself down some dudes throat, but most of the deaths are done by blade. The gruesomeness is sort of lampshaded by Jason, however, when he takes his first kill in Springwood. He stabs the guy a bunch of times, and then folds him into his own bed. I can imagine the dream behind that being kind of messed up.

Also, there is the minor gripe of the fighting. All the fights are pretty cool, but there aren't very many of them. I guess that's not a big problem because they're both being pretty psycho throughout their scenes, so both sets of fans will get what they want. I especially like the party scene where Jason gets teased by these two drunk guys for coming in a costume. He twists one guys head around, then gets set on fire, then kills the other dude with his machete at long range. Then it's just funny to see peple charge at him and gt slaughtered in mass.
However, the final fight brings Freddy into the real world, which takes away his reality warping powers, and reduces him to incredible strength and immunity. Needless to say, he gets owned a fair bit. There's a particulerly odd moment where he falls off some construction workand gets his leg caught in a giant whacky pendulam thing. On a whole, however, I'd say the fights are pretty good, and sadly probably better than the 'Epic Climax' of Iron Man 2.

Also, there are a few Crowning Moments of Awesome and Funny. Lori gets a CMoA for actually going into her dream to get Freddy, and also for doing no less than BLOWING HIM AND JASON UP! She just punched out Cthulhu. Jason gets a few by get electrocuted with a few thousnad volts and using it to his advantage, mimmicing Freddy's style of gruesome murder (as stated above) and actually seeming like a Hero in comparison to Freddy, who talks and therefore is able to be much more of a dick even if e gets like under ten kills throughout the film.
I can't really say there's a lot of CMoA's for Freddy aside from remaining a pun spewing jokester and genuinley seeming threatening for the first time in a while, but he gets a CMoF for using Jason's body to play Pinball. Lori's friend Kia gets one when she needs to give Jason Mouth-to-Mouth. And I suppose seeing the Freddy Grub smoke his bong was pretty funny. I mighy also mention the scene where Freddy tries to take his first kill and fails got a laugh out of me. Especially with the Big Lipped Alligator Moment that is the goat. That and he wakes up and gets killed by Jason.
I'd like to mention the scene where Gibb dies as being funny, but that's only because the glowstick guy gets killed and because of Freddy's reaction. The rape part of the moment makes it less funny though, or more considering that the dudes dead now.

On a whole, I'd say that unless your looking to make a film that is going to be reveered like the source material, aim for the qaulity of Freddy vs. Jason if you're making a crossover film. Speaking of which, I sure hope the Avenger dosn't suck, but I'll make a bigger point of that later on.

And finally, no I haven't read Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash or it's sequel, but I might in the future.

Awesome Covers: Savage Dragon 34

This is probably the first Awesome Covers that showcases a comic I don't actually own. Mainly because I haven't done one in a while, and secondly because I haven't really been talking about actual comics for a while. I think it's clear that I won't be doing reviews on a regular basis, that's for sure.

Anyway, what I liked about this cover. I probably wouldn't car that much in other circumstances, but just look, it's Savage Dragon, one of my favorite comic book characters (RIP Savage Dragon) fighting Hellboy, who has been the star of one of my favorite movies, and just for good measure they have BrainiApe in the background. So essentially, this is a Police Officer Finned Alien fighting a Kitten Loving Badass Hero Demon with Hitler's Brain implantd into a Gorilla in the background. DAYUMN!

Mental Cover: Date with an Ogress.

As a favor, Mental accompanies his friend Miya to her high school formal. Of course since one dosn't go around telling everyone at a party somthing like this, her ex-boyfriends mistake this fr an actual date, and seeing how they are actually mythological creatures, things are not likley to end in a polite manner.

This would be Miya, the second Big Eater character that I have which is female. Funny story really, how it all came about. While Heidi was created for Hyper-Force as my characters CGI girlfriend and another excuse for jokes, Miya came around when I was playing the Sims 2 and was using it to make a comic on the website entitled Professor When. I will admit to you right now that it wasn't very good, but apparently I did it well enough for at least a few people enjoyed it, particulerly my friend Ray who even started writing some fan fiction about it, which instantly made her one of the coolest people I have ever met...not met...been aware of? (How ironic it is that what I read of it was intensley better than anything I've ever written in my life.) Anyway, since Sims 2 couldn't make your sims actually fat, and I was planning ahead for the far future of the comic (I tend to do that) and decided that a future companion of the Professor, who would be included when the series made the jump to Sims 3 (I was ambitious) would take full advantage of the fact that they could be fat. Thus Miya was born.
Her character would mostly be a complete departure of the usual companion type, also being somewhat of a danger herself (Ogres are considered monsters after all) and gradually develope into a downright intelligent state. Of course this never came about because the comic only lasted about 7 or so issues. Good Times.

I liked the character so I decided to bring her back as a character in a strip that starred me and Ray (badly drawn hilarity was to ensue). The character was completley refined, mainly because the original was going to start out more animalistic and I decided I wasn't going to draw 'that' frame in a grass dress on a regular basis (not that people who wear grass dresses are animals, sorry) and she was also a much likable character. I eventually decided she's make the transition from there to the Mental universe.

That's when things got a bit strange. Originally Mia was an actual Ogress, though the comic would have an alien type explanation, but when I put her into the Mental universe which features neither magic nor aliens I made her a mutant, which makes this cover completley false. I've also made her into a teenager and have taken down her grossness by about 89%.

But never mind any of that, I bet you didn't realise that Troll looking creature is based on that thing that appears towards the beginning of Hellboy 2! And on that note, I bet you didn't realise that in the 'prologue' Hellboy was played by a girl! Beya didn't know that!

Crowning Moment of Awesom: The Insano War.

I can't really explain this. You have to see it yourself. It's at the end of the video, but the rest of the vid is pretty damn awesome too.
http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/linkara/at4w/22685-at4w-spoony-experiment-warrior-2-3

Also, in case your wondering why I didn't put Kickassia as a Crowning Moment of Awesome, it jus seemed obvious really.

Wait, What?

This is weird. A while ago Marvel released some comics which showcased some stories which readers could vote on and recieve a full one-shot of. There was two, but I only saw one, and that included stories involving Luke Cage vs. Politics, some girl who fights monsters and a story about the Daughter of Galactus. Being the most absurd of the three, Galacta: Daughter of Galactus, won.

Basically she s like the complete opposite of her father. While she does hunger to devour our planet, she instead decides to help protect us from the things that would destroy us regardless of what the superheroes did, and consume evil alien energies and lifeforms. She ends up with a 'cosmic tapeworm' and must ask her father for help so that she does not give into her hunger and destroy us. The book is repetetive, constantly having her repeat how much unlike her father she is in her narration, as well as how insanley hungry she is, and you will get a little tired of all the text, nevertheless it's funny enough to call a good read. And even when the Cosmic G (The Big G being Godzilla you see) he has a dominating presence regardless of the humour cast upon him throughout the rest of the story. Plus we get to see snippets of Galacta's Facebook, so that's funny. You can even visit her Twitter page.

But here's the strange bit. At one point she gets the ingenius idea to take Wolverine's healing factory and augment it into a whole planet (sort of like Ego, the Living Planet) so that she and her father can consume it for millenia and millenia without harming any one. However, this dosn't work out due to cosmic genetics or some other technobabble. The weird bit? The planet looks like Wolverine and even has the same hair and sideburns. She proceeds to christen it Sideburn, the Regenerating Planet (I think). Okay, the shorter version of my moniker is simply Sideburns or Sideburn, which is weird, and I have two female characters who are big eaters, and here we have a colossal woman who want to eat a planet named Sideburn. That is like the biggest coincedence I have ever seen! I mean, damn! I've considered myself prone to coincedence, but that's a bit of a stretch, don't you think? There is no way this is not coming up in my future work. It wouldn't really be that big of a deal if one of those big eaters wasn't Captain Mental's girlfriend.

Next, we just need a character to be named Ned, and have him dress in hoodies and have trouble finishing what he starts. Or have a guy named Robert whose incredibly sarcastic, cynical, and is physically incapable of continuing his novel. Okay, those wouldn't be as funny, but you get the idea.

Also, it's kinda funny to hear how delicious she thinks characters like Thor would be. And apparently Galactus is a pretty good guy, as when Richards was threatening the Cosmic G with the Ultimate Nullifier, the safety was on.

Savage Dragon 160

Wow. Just...wow.

Savage Dragon has recently been in a storyline concernining his origins. What happened, you see is, Dragon's brain was eaten by an alien called Virus. The creature mutated into another Savage Dragon and vice versa, but his personaliy was in tact, so it was sort of like a big joke. So, for a few issues they dealt with some other story lines, such as Dragon's kids getting kidnapped, and the aftermath of that. Then in issue 150, they celebrated by having Dragon's nemesis, Overlord, returning (someone new in the suit). The issue ended with Overlord incinerate Dragon, except for his legs, arms, and a crapload of blood. He had it taken back to the local super freak crime gang, The Vicious Circle, and created a chemical that would mutate them into Dragon-clones.
Dragon's son Malcolm went on a quest to revive Dragon's Virus body with a blood transfusion. It worked, but he came back as the evil Emperor Kurr, the man who Dragon was before the first issue.
This was okay because Dragon had a reputation for dying then coming back. However, Larsen had said, that by the final issue of the Dragon War storyline, if Dragon was dead, he would remain dead, and would then become a Legacy Character. I was a bit annoyed, but figured that whatever Larsen did would be best.

Wow.

The issue consisted mostly of a fight between Dragon, J. Jonah Jameson parody R.R. Richards (in a giant robot), the Vicious Dragon Circle, his kids Malcolm and Angel, and supporting character Flash Mercury, The Spectacular Dragon. Dragon slaughtered Richards and the Circle, and gave a pummelling to everyone else. Eventually after attacking Malcolm, Dragon was beaten to a pulp by an enraged Angel. I figured, "Oh well, I guess that's it then." But then I turned the page and, he was still alive, and punched her away, stating that since she and her brother nursed him back to health, he would spare them, then jumped off into the distance.

Seriously, wow.

I mean, I was never expecting the story to have a fully happy ending, I knew Dragon's tenure as hero was over, but, that story was just depressing. Perhaps its because I only recently entered the fandom, but I feel that this is probably one of the most depressing comics I've read. The odd thing is though, that it wasn't so much the issue itself though, but rather, what it implies.
Savage Dragon has survived exploding planets. He has saved hundreds. He has fought enemies twice his size and won, he is the only Image character aside from Spawn to still have his own residence in his original publication. Heck, he's written a book and raised two kids. And how does he meet his end? Not with a bang, but a whimper. In an alleyway. In a conversation riffing on Spider-Man. A scene anyone else would've just used as preparation for a later climatic battle. Dragon did not recieve such an honor, but instead got a single punch, then died...I have read only four issues starring the Dragon that the fans know. This only became truly depressing ten issues later.

He obviously knew how depressing it was, because he included a comedic backup story by another artist about Dragon meeting one of his rogues gallery while on a blind date. This did little to remedy this.

I'm not going to get all sappy and tell you that my world view has changed because of a comic book about a hulkish man with a fin on his head. But I am going to tell you that it reminded me that I need to enjoy what I have while I have it. I'm not going be a changed man because of it, I already believed in this, even if I do still feel that my life could be better. I am not going to say my life is bad. By all accounts, I have a very good life. Savage Dragon has just been a reminder of this fact.

Do I feel like mouthing off to Erik Larsen about ruining the book? No. Instead, I congratulate him on getting the reaction he was no doubt intending. I salute you Larsen, I have said that you are brilliant at what you do, and you have proven that.

This is ThatKidWithTheSideburns, asking you to have a nice day.

Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Hi. The Rocky Horror Picture Show is one of the most well known musicals in history. Until recently I had only heard about it and heard the Time Warp a few times. So, I decided to finally see it, and heck maybe give it a review. But after having thought about it...How can I review it? Calling this film a Big Lipped Alligator Movie is pretty damn accurate. Plot? What plot? I don't understand this word.

Okay, the film is too confusing and strange for me to give a detailed explanation. So, here's my summary of the plot: Brad and Janet want to get married. Cross Dressing Mad Scientist Alien Tim Curry wants to have sex with them. The Igor hates Cross Dressing Mad Scientist Alien Tim Curry. Rocky is a dumb blonde Frankenstein who dosn't progress the plot all that much despite being the title's namesake, but sings a few times. Meat Loaf is a dead biker.

Really, the plot itself is just an excuse to get these characters togethor. To be honest the film's pretty good, it's just it's too weird and random for me to explain. I guess I could, but this film has no basis in reality, so I'm not going to even attempt it. The only thing I can comment on is that I felt bad about Cross Dressing Mad Scientist Alien Tim Curry (or Frank N Furter) dying. Not so much because I liked the character so much (he was kinda awesome though) but because the guy just shot him. I know he killed a few people, tortured others and abused his killer, but couldn't he...I don't actually know. I was going to say die with more dignity, but he is Cross Dressing Mad Scientist Alien Tim Curry so that ship has probably sailed.

Anywho, the film is good, full of Ear Worms and features Cross Dressing Mad Scientist Alien Tim Curry.