Single Paragraph Film Reviews

Hey, I ain't dead. Yeah, I have bareluy typed a post all year, but, when if I had regular visitors, maybe I'd have some motivation.

Just to make up for some time, here's my opinion on some films. Not that I'm going to be moving at the same speed as before, but I'll hopefully at least try for one update a month if I can find the time. And become less lazy.

Green Hornet.


This film is good. Both main characters are fun, but Kato steals the show like he did back in the 60's TV show. The film doesn't do much in terms of originality, but it takes what it has and uses them excellently. It's also damn funny.

Paul.


Edgar Wright is my new favourite director, having given us Hot Fuzz, Scott Pilgirm, and now this. Out of the 'Pegg-Frost' trilogy, this is probably the weakest, but since Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead were damn brilliant, this is a very good film. Paul is a hilarious character, voiced by the awesomtastic Seth Rogen, and the simplistic storyline is used brilliantly. Also, the moments of geekiness such as the comicon scenes made me feel like this film was made specifically to impress me. And it worked.

Sucker Punch.


This film upsets me. For the first hour, it is an okay film with INSANELY good action sequences that literally have you laughing over how ridiculously good of a time your having. And then, BAM, it's like the director realised that he wanted to make a different sort of film and made us sit through this insanely depressing climax. Apparently this was his intention, but no, as a consumer, I reject your metaphors and hidden meanings and demand a proper ending!

Seeing how this film goes into some pretty powerful mindscrew territory, it is safe to say that you're free to believe whatever you want. Nobody actually dies and relationships aren't as close as they might seem. But when you make a film that has the main theme of 'A bunch of women kicking ass in insane sequences' you have an ending that mmakes you want to get up and punch the screen into dust.

Unlike most critics, I say this is a good film, but it has one of the most bullshit endings in history. This was on my top favourite films ever list for a while before I saw the ending.

Thor.


I was very worried about Thor. It looked like it was going to be rather campy, and the early moments in the film didn't help. However, I was delighted to find that the film is actually pretty good, taking the opposite train as my usual perception of bad films. They usually start out promising and go down hill with stupid, but this one found a good level and stuck to it, though its far from perfect. I only ever felt the badass action I felt in Iron Man 1 at the beginning, the rest of the action seemed to have less impact. But otherwise, a good film.

Scott Pilgrim.


Yep, still fucking badass.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.

"An epic of epic epicness." Understatement of the century.

What is there to say about Scott Pilgrim? It's adapted from a few graphic novels which I haven't read and is apparently uber popular. After seeing the film, what is my conclusion?


This is not a film. It is Epic chopped up and reassembled into the form of a film reel. The first thing you see is the Universal Studios logo rendered 8-Bit, and it just gets better from there.

Okay, here's the story. 22 year old Scott (Michael Cera) is in a band called the Sex Bob-Ombs, and they've entered in the battle of the bands. Scott is still getting over his ex, the lead singer of the most popular band around, Clash of Demonhead, who dumped him brutally. To get over the break up, Scott is going out with Knives, a 17 year old chinese student. However, he soon sets his sights on Ramona Flowers, a hardcore girl who skates a lot and likes to dye her hair. Though at first she acts exactly how you'd expect someone to react when hit on by Michael Cera, awkward. But eventually he manages to win her favor. However, unbeknownst to Scott, Ramona has a bit of a history in the realm of dating, and to finally be with her, he will have to combat her seven evil ex lovers.

The film essentially takes place within a video game. When Scott defeats an ex, they burst into a pile of coins and high scores, and towards the end, Scott admits his undying love for Ramona, and earns The Power of Heart.
Yes, except in this case, the Power of Heart is a flaming sword that explodes people. Suck on that Gaia.
It's definately somewhat of a Big Lipped Alligator Movie. At one point the film inexplicibly turns into Seinfeld, complete with laughtrack. I might wonder why Scott apparently gets away with murdering about seven people, but the film's atmosphere tells you, "The due just defeated a floaty pirate guy with a hoard of demon chicks using a a drum. Shut up, your enjoying this."

Michael Cera is known for acting very similar in each of his roles, that being rather awkward. Fortunately for me, I like the way he acts. This film also allows him to be a little bit more awesome. He's still very much awkward, but there are a number of moments where he certainly dosn't come across as Paulie Bleaker. Speaking of which, I kept expecting Ellen Page to show up and help him kick ass, but sadly we were not given such pleasure.

This is definately one of my favorite films now, and it was definately worth the wait. It is a film that sort of goes on the logic of an internet review sight, that being 'very little.' I could easily see the Nostalgia Critic joining in with one of the frays in this film.

I have only two complaints, and one of them isn't even a real complaint.

1-Ramona is kickass throughout the entire film, she's as awesome as they imply, so it hurts to see her chickified towards the end. She gets punched several times, then kicked down the stairs. The fact that it was this character made that very hard to watch.

2-This should have been in 3D. It would definately have worked. There were so many moments that I felt would have looked great. In a time when 3D is sprinkled on anything just to increase sales, it saddens me that a film begging for 3D goes without.

That's it. The rest of the film is fine. It has everything. Video game injokes, action, romance, fanservice, lesbians, vegans, vegan police, giant monster fight, flaming swords, Michael Cera, Pee Meter, ninjas, EVERYTHING! GO SEE SCOTT PILGRIM!!!!

Now, if you excuse me, I'm going to write Scott Pilgrim and Juno vs. The Universe.