Mental Covers: Communism Lives Again...As Gloves!

Yes, I realised that my over Captain Mental thing wasn't very funny, so I thought I'd make up for it by replacing it with some covers I made.


My original idea was to post these on Flickr and get people to expand on the story, but I didn't actually get a following. I had a friend who wanted to do it, the awesome as hell RayRay Shippe (her internet name) but she was already working on another collaboration with me, and now she's too busy to continue them. But I'm one to talk, I've told her about all these ideas I've had and how 'I'm gonna stop sitting on my ass and make this' and have abandoned the idea shortly after.

So, anyway...Captain Mental faces a pair of Communist Gloves who attach themselves to his hands, making him seem like a Commie. I freely admit that I stole the communist dialogue from the original Tick series, which I will be reviewing later.

So, anyway, hope you enjoy.

OMG! THAT GUY WITH THE GLASSES DVD!

OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE! SHIT SHIT SHIT I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S FINALLY HERE! OH SWEET MOTHER OF UNGODLY GODS AND ALL THAT IS HOLY! I ALWAYS HEARD RUMOURS BUT I NEVER IMAGINED! WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE THE AWESOME! NEED NEW WORDS! AWE-GASMIC, AWESOMERRIFFIC, actually those are very poor description, IT'S JUST SO MOTHERF*CKING AWESOME! THERE'S NEW STUFF AND OLD STUFF AND MORE NEW STUFF AND SOME OLD STUFF AND AWESOME STUFF AND IT'S THE GREATEST THING I HAVE SEEN TODAY! Except well, I technically got a message from my online friend, but she dosn't have a DVD, so...OH MY GOD! THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY I HAVE EVER HAD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! OH THE LEVEL OF OMIGOSH CANNOT BE CONTAINED BY ONE SINGLE PERSON. MILLIONS OF PEOPLE WORLDWIDE ARE GOING INTO RANDOM SPASM OF JOY BECAUSE I AM SYPHONING IT TO IT SO THAT I DO NOT EXPLODE! OH. MY. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD.

Now, I just need to get a job, so I can get a credit card to buy it with.

Son of a Bitch: Marvel and DC.

Welcome to a new segment which I call, Son of a Bitch, where I talk abou things that irritate me. Tonights subject are the two warring factions of the comic books world, Marvel and DC. And just because I found them, here are two different establishing pics.

Okay, I buy comics from both sides, but technically prefer Image because it has less hassle when it comes to continuity, and since there is technically no actual Image Universe, Event Comics are not a problem. But the big two suffer from a variety of problems, some of them stem from the very fact that they are the big two. Let's dig in, shall we.

Let's start with Marvel. Once upon a time there was a man. Or shall we say, he resembled a man. He came to Marvel looking for temporary work and left revealing that he wasn't a man, but a god. His name was Stanley Lieber. His name is now Stan Lee. I'd say Stan was a genius, but I wouldn't say he isn't now. He's pretty much retired, so I think we can maybe understand if he hasn't created any mindblowing characters recently. In any case he's responsible for the Marvel Universe and millions of dollars. So, what's annoying about all this? Well, when I think of comics, I like to think of say, Spider-Man fighting someone like The Rhino, or Doc Ock. In recent years, we've had a craze of Event Comics, stories that concern the whole damn universe. These can be cool I suppose, but do we have to change very damn thing we know and love?

Abomination, the Hulk's arch-enemy and probably his oldest actual villain (Ross dosn't count) has recently been killed off by Red Hulk. Now, I'm not stupid, I know it's a comic book, he can come back, but you can't kill someone like that after everyone else has failed hundreds of times. Oh, and you know Tony Stark, Iron Man? Yeah, lives a lush life in charge of Stark Industries while battling villains and alchoholism in a special suit of armour. WRONG He's on the run from the law, and the suit is built into his bone marrow! Now, I haven't read Extremis, nor have I even read Iron Man, but what's stopping me is my lack of familiarity. I have to give you props for trying and heck you don't care what I think, but I would just like to buy a comic without having to buy fifteen more of the same series to understand what's happening.

That brings me to The Gauntlet, Spider-Man's current storyline. Spider-Man deals with the seemingly unrelated returns of his most famous foes, which is secretly the work of the Kraven family. I only have two problems with this one. First of all, I don't know what's happening with Peter's actual life, which extends to the fact that J. Jonah Jameson is now the Mayor. I bought an issue of Young Avengers only a few years ago, and JJ was still in charge of the Bugle. So I'm being told that Within those few years he's left teh bugle and become Mayor. Not exactly a bad thing, but honestly, I think he's been at the job too long for it to change now. But again, I haven't read that much so I don't actually know how entertaining the story of this is, and what I have read included him mourning the destruction of the Bugle building. I admit I felt for him.
My second complaint is that it's a weekly series now. I want to buy it, but for everytime I visit, there's like six new issues out. That is frustrating! Especially because it's a weekly series, we get a different bunch of people working on it, which isn't exactly bad, but what I like about buying a single series is that sense of familiarity in how everything looks. Here however, I feel like I'm buying different Spider-Man one-shots.

Now onto DC. DC's storyline has gone to hell. STOP REVAMPING YOUR CONTINUITY. 52, Countdown, the whole thing is confusing. Is this the same Batman series that Bob Kane created, or is this a near-identical alternate universe. YOU DON'T MAKE SENSE! And also...actually, I can't think of anything else. I know there's things that annoy me, I just can't remember...weird. Oh well.

Now something about you, ordinary people. Because my friends know me as the guy to ask Comic Book and Sci-Fi info from, I occasionally get questions like, 'Why wasn't Spider-Man in Justice League.' What? Are you dense? Are you retarded? IT'S THE GODDAMM DC UNIVERSE! Even stupid people realise that they are two different worlds. We have cartoons, we have Smallville, we have movies, do you need any more sources of information on which to learn the obvious!

Okay, now I am done, thanks for listening.

Also, while I would definatley see a Hulk vs. Iron Man film, or a downright Avengers film, I am somewhat annoyed that Thor will be involved. That means that Tony Stark exists in the same world as the Norse gods. Prepare for wall banging.

Villain Spotlight: AskThatGuyWithTheGlasses

Quite possibly the most evil villain I have presented so far.

There's no such thing as a stupid question, until you ask it. That's what he tells us. But what he means is, 'I WILL KILL YOUR FAMILY AND DEVOUR YOUR CHILDREN!' The only one on the list so far who considers an hour and a half of exploding babies to be a great idea for a film. Yes, he'll give you advice for your problems, but be warned, many of tehse include performing acts that will have you arrested. Then executed. Yes, perhaps one time he was revived from death by appealing to the good nature of god himself, but just a few episodes later, he let us know he works for Satan.

The only thing worse is Bennet The Sage. Not only does he manage to terrify today's subject, but then drags him off to perform horrible...horrible things to him. The sad part? You sympathise with ThatGuy.

But for those of you who can't help but see innocence in his eyes, remember his rousing speech at the end of the Team Brawl, which showed us that somewhere within this Hellish personification of a human being, there was a strand of humanity left within him. Beautiful.

Alice in Wonderland.

Last night I went and saw Alice in Wonderland. Was I impressed? Let's find out.

Okay, from what I had originally heard, the film was another adaption of the story. Eventually I learnt that Burton was going to do it as a sequel to the books in order to add some new twists to it. And THEN I learnt that he was planning on having characters stick around to create a proper supporting cast. And THEN I went and saw the film and found out that the film was ACTUALLY a new story altogethor with the same characters and themes. Which made it very hard to enjoy if you've spent this much time thinking the opposite. And not to mention getting to the cinemas was hectic enough. My mother gets a Crowning Moment of Awesome for actually finding a carpark in time to get in before the film got too far, just as I was buying tickets for today.

What helped even less was that the part where she enters Wonderland was virtually exactly how every other version had depicted it. Albiet, there was some mild lampshading, but seriously, you set the wrong tone!

And then, once she's in Wonderland, we just get half the cast thrown right at us. The caterpillar (he had a name, but I can't be bothered remembering) was cool with Alan Rickman's voice, but he was just treated strangley in my opinion and could have been cut, the same with Tweedledee and Tweedledum, they were funny, but didn't have to be there. The Mad Hatter was definatley my favorite character, but even though I think Johnny Depp is an awesome actor, I have to say I had a little big of trouble following him at times. He was definatley mad though.

But, once I accepted that this wasn't a retelling, I very easily fell into the atmosphere of the film and had a jolly good time. I also liked The Jabberwocky. Admittedly I didn't like how he was a basic dragon, but I forgave that when I realised it didn't fly, which was actually kind of cool. And Christopher Lee's voice acting was okay, but I have to say it could have been cut, but I guess they really wanted him to do the voice.

Helena Bonham Carter may be one of Burton's staples, but I don't feel she did a very good job. She just yelled and whined, and I know that's the Red Queen/Queen of Heart's job, but she's also supposed to have menace about herself, I did not feel menaced (word?).
Alice herself seemed a bit odd, but she grew on me after a while. And yes, I'm aware that what I just said counts as a pun because she grows and shrinks in the film.

The climax at the end was done well, even if it seemed a little strange for an Alice film. Though Alice's Post Mortem One-Liner was clever, it seemd somewhat forced.

And finally, the basic 'Everything's Hunky Dory, Oh No Bad Things are Happening' flashback didn't do anything for me at all.

But asides from that, I thought the film was pretty good. I'd probably see it again even.

Awesome Covers: Invincible 68

Okay, this is the last Invincible post in a row, I promise.

So, what's so cool about it? ...He's fighting a bloody dinosaur! What the hell more do you need? It's a hulkish mutant dinosaur that has robot parts and generally looks awesome. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?!.

The cover was cool enough to get me into the series again after I felt it wasn't for me. Usually when I see a preview for the next issue, I feel, 'Looking forward to that,' but had I bought the previous issue, it would have probably been, 'OMIGOD THIS LOOKS AWESOME!' And chances are we'll get another cover with him on it with all the popularity he got in his one appearance.

Crowning Moment of Villain Spotlight: Angstrong Levy.

Yes, that's right, I'm combing Crowning Moment of Awesome with Villain Spotlight, hurray. And, since I just recently talked about Invincible, why don't we talk about the villain who is arguably his Arch-Nemesis, Angstrong Levy?

Angstrong Levy was a guy who could travel through dimensions. Hvaing not actually read teh early issues, I don't know if he was evil. But, he contacted other versions of himself to help make dimensional travel easier. However, his one bad idea was to use two super villains to help him. They obviously got into strife and almost killed our plucky hero, but luckily Levy tried to stop them using the machine...which promptly blew up, and him along with it.

Luckily, since this was a comic book, thanks to surgery, he survived with minor scars and mutations. He was mad at Invincible for this and tried to have his revenge...and was then beaten to near death by the hero. Seriously, this guy is just real unlucky. And when I saw beaten to near death, I don't mean he was left a bleeding mess, I mean to be a bleeding mess would be pleasuable compare to what he was reduced to. Like smashing and apple with a hammer! Gosh.

But no, even this dosn't stop a villain and he had alien surgeons fix him again to exact revenge once more.

So, yeah, pretty good villain I suppose, but why'd you have to combine two segments togethor for this? Well, that brings us to his revenge plan. Well, unlike most villains, his plan destroyed half the planet...

DESTROYED. HALF. THE. PLANET.

Suck on that Dr. Doom, you can't even kill a goddamn human Stretch Armstrong, this guy destroys half of civilisation. Every major city completley and uttered trashed, superheroes everywhere dead or injured, millions dead and a few members of the main cast gone forever.

I will admit, he failed to kill Invincible, but he still kept his cool. He even managed to fend off the things that were causing the damn devestation. This is an awesome villain, thank you Robert Kirkman for being good at your job. Now work on a movie deal, it will be decent!